Body Image Monster

Give It More Gas

These were my reward for running a 5K twice in two days.

You know me. You know I'm always working on something over here.

Seems I was born to figure things out and make things in my life work better. Sometimes I try to make things work better, in general, and the Universe reminds me that it's not my work. I have enough to worry about in the Land of Dillan. ;)

I am not a quitter. That's why I'm always working on things--because I don't give up. Over the past few years I've had to learn the hard way that this doesn't always serve me. Like with former romantic partners. Or jobs. Or lost causes of some other sort. In one instance, my tenacity proved to serve me--with my current partner. But when she wasn't ready to be in a committed queer relationship, my pushing didn't make things better. No, it did not.


It's all about learning when, why and how to be tenacious. And not quit when things get challenging or we feel resistance. When you feel like giving up, sometimes you just need to give it more gas. 

Choose wisely. Start with what's easy--when you are on your own and you feel like giving up or quitting, like I did two weeks ago when I went for a run.

Ever since making some big decisions for myself in recent months, I've been coming up against the ugly 3-headed Body Image Monster. He and I are not friends. We haven't been since I was a child, actually. I've always been on the thicker side, not lanky or lean in any way, and the Body Image Monster always likes to hang out on my shoulder, right beside my ear, and tell me how I don't measure up. He's affected my eating habits, exercise habits, speech, etc. for more years than I would like to admit.

On this particular day, I was feeling strong and confident--ready for a run. I told myself I would run a longer route, to push myself past what I had been doing to see if I could complete it. BIM tried to tell me I wouldn't make it. While I was running, one of my good friends called (I run with my iPhone for music). BIM tried to get me to quit and take the call. I instead chose to keep running, I told myself that if I made it all the way I would try and call my friend back then. If we were meant to talk, he would be available then. After I had met my own challenge.

I kept running.

I made it the whole way, never stopped once, and ran right up to the door of my house with ease. I wasn't sprinting, but I wasn't walking it, either. I logged the run on this handy tool: and it turns out that I ran 3.2 miles! That's a 5K!


When the BIM and the temptation to talk to my beloved friend tempted me to quit, I just gave it more gas.

I stuck to my promise to myself and saw what I could do when I met my own expectations.

Knowing me, you can bet I challenged myself to take this insight into other areas of my life. The way we do one thing is the way we everything.

love, Dillan